Close friends become like one soul in two bodies; your shared values and goals flow through accomplishing much more than you could do alone. Our social value depends on public opinion that depends on the goodwill generated by either the service and friendliness we extend to others or the enmity of enemies. Each day search for a new friendship or at least more relationships that wish us well. In this pursuit, there is no magic like an unexpected good turn, an understanding word in a difficult conversation, an unasked for support.

Complicated, confusing, and dangerous difficulties easily becomes worse after an ill-considered remark or gesture. The wise instead extricate themselves with skillful evasions, elegant jokes, witty remarks, warm smiles, changing the subject, or pretending to not understand. Potentially serious conflicts submerge when intriguing diversions arise. These methods can also skillfully ease the pain of refusals. Sometimes the most clear understanding leads to acting like we don't understand.

Culture grows from the ground of courtesy, manners, and politeness. These qualities win regard and affection, cost little, gain a great deal, and bring honor. Discourtesy and rudeness, however, invite opposition, scorn, and even contempt. Too much politeness and indiscriminate courtesy though degenerates into superficial hypocrisy and can even bloat into injustice. Courtesy toward an enemy displays your integrity and may decrease aggression. Instead of being lost by being given away, gallantry and respect grow.

Decision-making and sound judgment based on careful reasoning brings us halfway to success. Some—born with this natural advantage—avoiding everything frivolous, prejudicial, and lacking forethought, rise high in social, organizational, and political influence. Their innate common sense takes them to respected and deserved positions of leadership.

Do not show your wounded finger, for everything will knock up against it. The wise never confess to being hit. If you wish the one to cease and the other to endure, never disclose the source of pain or of joy. Complaining only makes us into a target for malice to shoot against because ill will searches for wounds to inflame. The wise hide harmful events and experiences—personal, biological, business—never nurturing with attention and talk memories best forgotten.

Do what can’t be done by doing things,
Let action be effortless.
Make what can’t be made by making things,
Savor the tasteless.
Treat the small as large,
The few as many.
Repay wrongs with the Power of Goodness.

Work on problems before they become big,
Study the complicated while it’s still obvious.
The biggest challenge starts out easy,
The most renowned projects
Begin small and uncomplicated.

Since taking things too lightly creates big problems
And thinking things too easy makes them difficult,
The wise don’t make much ado about anything,
Don’t take to heart what they can throw over their shoulders,
Don’t believe or like lightly.
By never attempting great ventures,
They accomplish great goals.

Doing harm to yourself in order to please another does not describe true compassion but rather a perverted understanding. True compassion requires intelligence and understanding of the entire situation. Creating pain for ourselves in order to calm or give pleasure to another can help a small segment but harm the whole. Instead, look ahead and avoid problems whenever possible. Unless clearly beneficial, neither give nor receive bad news. Protect your ears from the sick sweetness of flattery, the perverse bitterness of scandal, the depressing entertainment of sensationalist bad news. (cf. #163)

Don't bore people with irrelevant details. Too much technical jargon loses people's attention while obscuring the essential issues. Short and to-the-point descriptions lead to effective and timely action while too much talk with irrelevant issues only obscures focus and slows progress. When good and short, statements become twice as effective. And when something isn't said well, if short it won't be as bad. Rambling, pointless trivia increases in inappropriateness in ratio to the level and importance of the person listening. Be particularly careful not to become a talking nuisance to busy people with heavy weights of responsibility—well said is quickly said.

Don't let a higher position or new level of approval change your attitude and approach to others. Often people win more authority with obsequious deceit; and when they assume the new role go to the opposite extreme with surly, irritating, unapproachable arrogance. They get revenge for having to please everyone by making everyone irritated and angry. The more power we receive, the more approachable we should become. Being unapproachable communicates a deep lack of self-knowledge, and self-confidence; a judgment that we don't deserve the position.

Don't let passions, moods, or sudden emotions throw you off balance into doing or saying embarrassing things you'll regret later. Strong feelings create passions that—if unchecked—can destroy reputations, undermine friendships, and sabotage our projects. Instead of getting angry or upset, cultivate a kind of equanimity that appreciates both when things go our way and when they don't: when we meet with success and when we meet with failure, when we're praised and when we're reviled.

Don't let prosperity seduce you into complacency. When good luck, progress, and success flourish; don't indulge in frivolous spending, taking people and positions for granted. Instead, acknowledge the possibilities for sudden change, reversals, and unexpected declines. Store your harvests in the summer and fall; don't expect these opportunities in the winter. Fame and fortune magnetize friends and favors best reserved for times of adversity when their support becomes much more expensive or not available at all. The foolish seldom have allies because when in luck, we don't recognized them and when in adversity, they don't recognize us.

Don't let your impulses and strong feelings enslave you to whims and poor judgment. Under the influence of contradictory desires, public opinion, and seemingly certain external opinion; most people unknowingly live their lives controlled by subtle cultural and political forces they not only don't understand but also don't even notice. This creates cognitive dissonance and a damned-if-you do/damned-if-you don't dichotomy between our beliefs and our true selves. Instead, focus on knowing yourself. Self-reflection can become the best school of wisdom.

Don't let yourself become a victim of circumstance, of fate, of any person. Instead of lamenting, complaining, or projecting when difficulties arise, take responsibility and flow with, direct, and transform every experience with awareness. First impressions—frequently only based on a person’s acting skills or an advertiser's psychological understanding—almost always inflate, exaggerate, or skillfully lie. Instead of naively believing, the wise quickly see through the deception, perceive the hidden motivations and conflicts of interest. They reason based on reality and act based on insightful reasoning.

Don’t let the success of a moment distract you from the steps toward a happy completion. Most often, a fortuitous beginning degenerates into a tragic ending; ventures begin with high-flying exuberance but end in disillusionment and failure. Or they begin with great difficulty and suffering but end with a contented accomplishment. History judges few worthy of an encore because most let temporary successes corrupt them away from their focus on the goals of integrity. Care less about how you look and how people regarded you during the process, more about if and how you can cross the finish line.

During golden ages, people barely know their leaders exist;
In lesser times, people love and praise them.
In darker days, people fear their rulers
And in the darkest times, they despise them.

When leaders work for personal reward,
Honesty fails and deception rules.
Corrupted by desire for fame and power,
Leaders create criminals.

At any price, words from a true leader are hard to gain.
Their advice – given in secret without fuss or boasting,
Like the truest voice in a group of singers –
Seems to come from the people themselves.
When good works succeed,
The people think they’ve done it themselves.

During golden ages
The best soldiers were never angry,
The best generals were never aggressive.
They overcame enemies without fighting.

The best victors didn’t compete,
The best employers served their employees.
This is the goodness of no struggle, no striving, no gaining ideas;
The best use of ability;
The joining of heaven and earth.

Each half of the world laughs at the other half and both sink into foolishness. The wise work hard to become independent from their culture, historical context, and from any solid point of view. Tastes are as diverse as faces. Almost every opinion, every belief, every value system has strong advocates as well as opponents. What inspires one person repels another. What some love others loath. Trying to impose one set of morals on many only makes things worse. For these reasons, we can to a certain extent ignore rebukes and disapproval—for every one who criticizes, another will praise. And for all approvals there will also be condemnations. Only the conclusions of the wise matter.

Emotional hurricanes in private, business, and political life tend to seduce our attention and provoke self-defeating action. Often, the more we try to solve problems, the worse they become. Like a doctor pressured to but not prescribing a medicine, the wise hold themselves back. The greatest skill paradoxically becomes not doing. Small disturbances muddy a pond and only inaction, disengagement lets the water clear, lets emotions run their course, the storms of passion settle. Strategic withdrawal today may represent the best way for success tomorrow.

Emptiness is the Way of Heaven,
Stillness is the Way of Earth.
Taking emptiness to the limit,
Resting the mind in stillness,
The perception of all things arise and fall together
And in their arising is their return.

Like flowers and leaves,
They grow, flourish, and then return to their root.
Returning to the root brings peace,
A peace that recognizes
No difference between self and other
And appreciates awareness
As completely perfect just as it is.

Without this recognition,
Perceptions are deluded and confusion rules.
With this complete realization of awareness,
Open-hearted compassion dawns
And brings life without limits.
The body comes to its ending
But nothing dies.

Envious people—the more polite, the more poisonous—see our good qualities as failings, consider themselves perfect but slander and libel trying to build themselves up. Like lightning striking the highest tree, the more perfect we seem, the more of a target we become for criticism, blame, and backbiting. Sometimes, for these reasons, a little carelessness, neglecting a detail, or permitting an imperfection proves the best strategy.