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Chapter Number | Content |
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127 | Epictetus taught that the ability to put up with fools represents half of all worldly wisdom and deserves a place as our most important rule of life. The ability to "suffer fools gladly" with an emphasis on the "gladly" leads to a deep inner peace that can create more happiness in the world. It requires, however, an uncommon patience and acceptance. Harder for the wise because they more clearly see folly and foolishness, we must often put up with the most from those most close. |
127 | Especially when in uncertain or dangerous territory, only advance under cover. Find the goals of others that align with your own so that helping them without notice also advances your own plans. This provides an unseen advantage that continues after initial goals are met. While helping others, you more effectively further your own ends by avoiding the skepticism that would arise if it looked like you were only working for yourself. This disguised intent easily evades the resistance of the skeptical and those who always at first say "no." [Chapter 13 expands on this maxim and chapter 193 warns against others taking this approach.] |
127 | Even monarchs and heads of giant corporations need good counsel and feedback. Only incorrigible fools refuse to listen, shun criticism, and scare people away from telling them the truth. People like this can't be helped because they can't be reached. They madly rush over cliffs without being able to hear warnings. Everyone benefits from friendships deep and secure enough to shelter fault-finding, honest advice, and a faithful mirroring free from deception. For this role however, trust only those with integrity—the sincere, wise, and loyal. |
36 | Every rapid collapse The wise hide their light, |
34 | Everyone excels at something but few know what it is. Even less both know and cultivate their strongest quality; most do violence to it by status quo obsequiousness, conformity, and constant attempts to be someone else. The successful in life both see and understand their true strengths and weaknesses. They propagate and grow their good qualities leaving less and less space for the weaknesses. |
52 | Everything has a common beginning, Block all the openings, Those who understand the insignificant have vision |
41 | Exaggeration—a close kin of lying— may provide a temporary benefit but quickly turns sour as the truth reveals itself. It wastes distinctions, offends the truth, and demonstrates the shallowness of our thinking, understanding and taste. Exaggerated praise kindles a kind of curiosity, desire, and action that quickly corrodes into disillusionment that cheapens the reputation of both the praised and the praiser. The wise avoid overstatement, prefer understating. |
127 | Faults—everyone has them and, although often seen clearly, attachment keeps them in our lives. We have irrational loves for avoidable failings that infect our talents (the more talent, the more likely corruption) and degrade our reputations. Even more visible to others, our defects easily overshadow our good qualities and repel people we would like to impress. Although unavoidable and part of who we are, we can become more aware of our imperfections and channel their energy into a deeper kind of integrity. |
99 | Few see deeper than the surface of people, events, and procedures. Good acting and marketing normally claim a much larger influence than the realities. Skillful illusions often change attitudes and actions much more quickly and effectively than the truth. For this reason, reality needs support. It is not enough to be right and have integrity, it must also look that way. |
127 | Few see things clearly, as they are. Most become easily duped by external and superficial appearances. Deceit rules, frauds proliferate, advertisers brainwash, and delusion sways more than truth. Without attention to our image however; to the presentation of our abilities and accomplishments, little is gained or influenced. The invisible and the non-existent share a similar regard. To achieve and accomplish and to be positively seen achieving and accomplishing doubles or triples the impact. |
127 | Find and work with people and organizations that follow up good words with good deeds. Bad words without bad deeds create enough badness; but, good words followed by bad deeds bring about worse situations. We can't eat empty-like-the-wind words and only the very foolish accept them as payment. Like the difference between a friend who values us because of who we are compared to someone who values us because of our wealth or title or position, we can distinguish polite or deceptive words with no likely action from words based on sincerity and commitment. |
77 | Following the Tao And so the wise |
32 | For the wise, the greatest advantage of power, wealth, and fame becomes the ability to do more good than others. This creates a powerful reputation for graciousness and opportunities to conquer with universal good will. Making friends arises from being a friend and engaging in friendly activity. Those who corrupt their advantages with a lack of graciousness, with indulged nastiness and bad disposition can expect no true friends or authentic support. |
127 | For those who think ahead, most dangers become small problems with no mischances, bad luck, or narrow escapes. Mature reflection can often transform even the most serious challenges into profitable opportunities. Many act first and only consider the consequences after they are already experiencing them and can now only think about excuses. Often people don’t think either before or after. Instead, think both before and after—let your whole life become a continuous process of anticipation, evaluation, reflection, foresight, and searching for the best path. |
10 | Fortune is fickle but nurtures this life, shields against envy, and can increase with effort and desire. Fame—the shadow of giants—must be earned with constant effort; and, if gained, guards against oblivion by more easily enduring and influencing the lives of future generations. Fame however knows little middle ground and mainly follows either the great or the evil, inspires either hate or love. Working for fame after death instead of a more immediate reward demonstrates an uncommon and deep integrity. |
115 | Frequently, the people circumstances force us to deal with become the ones we would prefer to stay as far away from as possible. A quandary arises between what we need and what we detest. Tolerating unavoidable irritations and failings from those we depend on often determines our success in life. Achievement and success grants the luxury of avoiding these encounters; but, when in a subordinate position, we lack this choice. Best therefore to gradually get used to and learn to tolerate people like this before they trigger in us a reaction that undermines our position. |
68 | From moment to moment, the most appropriate response changes but most only see what is past or what they hope will occur in the future, not noticing opportunities in the present. Most possibilities slide past us into oblivion because we ignore them or because we are afraid of the risks. Most never find success simply because they don't make the attempt. Often a close friend has a more clear awareness of this kind of achievability than the friend themselves. When giving this kind of advice however, subtlety and reticence become key to communication that inspires without controlling manipulation. Don't say more than necessary and add further bits of confidence-building only if necessary. |
42 | From the Way came the one The 10,000 things with yin at their backs, Although all the world hates |
127 | Good relationships multiply the sweetness of life and divide its sourness. The best prevention and remedy against misfortune, there is no wasteland or desert like living without friends. Few know how to choose them wisely and not many can become good friends. It takes skill and discretion to wisely engage their support. Some thrive best when at a distance, some when close by. Some communicate best in person, some with correspondence. Old, tested, and well-salted relationships become like a breath of fresh air for the soul and keeping them becomes much more important than finding new ones. |
27 | Good walking leaves no footprints, In this way, the wise Those who don’t respect and honor teachers, Understanding this and leaving no trace, |