“‘proper work’ usually involves performing a task you hate on behalf of people you'd gleefully club to death with a bull's knee if only it were legal to do so.”

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“Hi-def is merely the latest in a string of evolutionary leaps that have transformed the way we sit slumped in front of a box wishing we were dead.”

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“If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.”

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“Kurt Vonnegut wrote about TV being like the lead in the water pipes that sent the Romans crazy. But I think social media is currently like that, times ten. It's like LSD in that water supply, going through those lead-filled pipes.”

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