Become your own universal friend, stop needing to become dependent on anyone else, and achieve the highest happiness. Be like Stilpon who—after he lost all his wealth, his wife, and children in a fire—remarked, 'Now I have all my possessions with me.' Like Cato who represented all of Rome, represent the rest of the world. Those who can happily live alone stop resembling a wild beast in any way and start looking like a sage in every way.

Be true to yourself and your own personal integrity rather than just following externally dictated rules. But keep that self-judgement pure with a higher standard than conventional morals and laws. Not because of looking for approval but for the sake of your own self-respect, avoid anything that diminishes this personal evaluation and dedication to goodness.

Be careful when stepping into a new role that replaces someone greatly respected. Because people more easily forget negative experiences, the past to most seems much better than the present. To avoid being completely eclipsed by a highly-thought-of predecessor, you must either achieve twice as much or create something innovative and unprecedented. A certain amount of esteem comes automatically from just being the first. To equal that when we're not the first requires superior talent, performance, and results. This can also secure our place when a successor takes over from you.

Be careful and avoid all the various types of one-sided arrogance: vain egocentrism, blind sectarianism and nationalism, habitual and pompous extravagance. These only make you look like a foolish monster blinded by false hopes and an inability to see the actual derision. This psychological defect undermines any kind of openness to development and change.

Awareness floats and drifts
Like an unmoored boat
Making no distinction between
Going this way and going that way.

Everything lives in its grace
And it denies nothing to anyone
Making no claims,
Having no desires.
Because it lacks the dualistic twist,
It’s considered insignificant
Though it gives birth to all things
Like the wind creating movement,
Water creating waves.

Because the wise never try to be great
They accomplish great things.

Aversion arises easily enough, no need to encourage it. Without reason, many allow an innate distrust and animosity to distort their first impressions. They revel in dislike and let malevolence and revenge take precedence over their own material and psychological well being—they would rather hurt others than benefit themselves. We find esteem and respect from others when we see something to respect and esteem in them.

As all politicians know, manipulating and controlling people becomes easy when you know what motivates them. Everyone idolizes something—most often fame, fortune, pleasure, or power. For many, this prime-moving motivation hides more deeply than the surface persona crafted by dogma and culture. It rules from a dark, hidden, and secret core of egocentric inclinations. When an external force or person understands a person’s dark, ruling passion, they easily appeal to it with words and images, tempt them into motion, checkmate their will, and capture their freedom. Understanding these basic and everyday-used techniques can help immunize us from the nearly constant manipulations of politicians, advertisers, rivals, and everyone else.

Appreciate what you do have more than what you wish you had. Live happily as you can rather than unhappily wishing to live in ways you can't. Though your knowledge and understanding may transcend the temporal, cultural whims; the expression of this insight more skillfully waits for a receptive time. Cultural consensus easily overshadows and disregards deeper truths that best lie hidden until their time arrives. Even when the best direction, swimming against a strong current may only make things worse while waiting for more accommodating times can quickly bring success. Genuine goodness brings an exception to this rule however. It never goes out of style, should never be postponed, subverted, or undervalued.

An authentic charisma gives life to thoughts, words, and actions. More innate than arising from effort or education, it gives meaningfulness to work, heart to speech, and inspiration to understanding. Without it, even beauty becomes shallow and the most refined manners seem empty. It deflects embarrassment, quickens success, multiplies majesty, fulfills confidence, and increases perfection itself.

Always hold fast to the virtues of integrity and goodness. Regard deception as treason and embrace righteousness even when it conflicts with family, friendship, cultural norms, political influences, or any kind of self-interest. Many praise these values but few follow them, especially when danger or desertion threatens. The worldly wise make distinctions and compromise for pragmatic political demands. People of the highest integrity, however, hold fast to their path of goodness and follow the truth rather than the opinions and attitudes of their culture, country, or religion. This kind of unwavering loyalty to integrity transcends physical and spiritual materialism and readily leaves a fickle group when the group leaves the path of virtue.

Although one of our most common activities, we often take conversation for granted and don't give it enough attention. As philosophers from Socrates to Erasmus to Dryden to Ben Johnson quoted, "Speak that I may know you." Our friends, rivals, and associates all judge us mainly by our conversation and it either rises us up or throws us down. In this regard, discretion becomes more important than eloquence. At best and most appropriate, we adapt our words to the minds, feelings, and temperaments of others. With close friends, many prefer spontaneous, casual and ill-considered words. In more substantial circles however, conversation reveals substance and significantly determines outcomes.

Although inevitable, change need not undermine reliability. When not capricious but instead based on sound reasoning, change doesn't confuse people making them doubt our reliability. When personal change arises because of consistently responding to externally changing situations and events, reputations for dependability remain solid. However, when conduct frequently vacillates out of boredom for no reason other than novelty, we destroy our credibility, our reputation, and our ability to accomplish and succeed. Heart and vision can remain consistent and dependable while external action and strategy quickly change with the changing circumstances.

Although imitation traps us in boxes of conformity, a wealth of creative inspiration can arise from watching an heroic model. Find and study examples of greatness—not to mindlessly follow but to spark more creative energy. While awareness of others' success inflames jealousy, competition, and envy in the foolish; it kindles dedication, confidence, and noble deeds in the wise.

Although history rewards its highest honors to the art of thinking and the shattering of illusions, modern society has lost this kind of appreciation; and instead, philosophy became suspect and frequently even considered nonsense. Seeing through illusions and deceit, however, remains a priority of the wise and a foundation for authentic integrity—the best support for a thoughtful mind and a virtuous path in life.

Although being in the right place at the right time gives the greatest advantage, it is also extremely rare. Sometimes the right time might be a different century, the right place a different country. While many basic qualities, skills, and kinds of intelligence have a consistent stability; attitudes, conditions, and cultural complexities constantly shift and impulsively change. Ageless wisdom, however, breaks all constraints of time and place.

Although a large amount of success in life depends on the goodwill of friends; although to a large extent we're judged because of our friends; although wise friends help us prevent and chase away troubles while foolish ones invite and encourage them; although choosing good friends is one of the most important things we do in life; few carefully select their friends. Most people find their friends by chance, because of the circumstances that haphazardly throw us into the same room. Instead, choose friends wisely. Look below the surface and see their true selves; don't rely on words but test them in the world of experience; see through the mirage of skillful entertaining, pleasure-seeking, and the myriad forms of seduction. The insight and good wishes of a true friend easily becomes one of the most valuable resources in life.

Almost everything includes a list of both positive and negative qualities. Some immediately focus on the good points, others the bad ones. Have good taste and become more like the honeybee that immediately goes toward the sweet; not like the poisonous snake that at once goes for its venom. Many fixate on the one defect out of a thousand good qualities and fill up their sad lives with complaint, criticism, and blame. Much better to experience life with the opposite approach—finding and developing the one good quality out of a thousand bad ones.

All things arise from the Tao
And the Power of Goodness nourishes them
As their own being shapes them,
As their own energy completes them.
In this way, the 10,000 things
All hold the Tao Sacred
And follow the Power of Goodness.

Unforced and natural,
This reverence and devotion
Arises spontaneously
As the Way gives life and supports,
Mothers and trains,
Shelters and protects,
Comforts and completes.

Mysterious, hidden, and profound;
This highest goodness
Holds without possessing,
Succeeds without taking credit,
Leads without controlling.

Achieving and maintaining a good reputation has a difficult and high cost because a genuine one only arises from exceptional qualities which are as rare as mediocre traits are common. Borrowed from fame, it develops not from egotistic striving but instead from merging with innate wisdom. Though possible to fake, only a well-founded reputation based on substance endures. This kind of recognition comes with high expectations and demands but also confers influence and opportunity.

A wise person benefits more from their enemies than a fool does from their friends. While flattery and friendly kindness ignores our faults and mistaken decisions, ill-will points them out and brings them to our attention. This makes flattery more dangerous than hatred and malevolence a more true mirror than affection. This more clear seeing often solves mountains of difficulties that would otherwise arise from our arrogance, delusions, and unrealistic impressions. Like when catching the handle rather than the blade of a knife thrust at us, we can use the threat to increase our caution, our insight, and our integrity.