When troubles arise, rely more and more on yourself. The bigger the problem, the more energy, confidence, and perseverance we need to bring forward. When we surrender to fate, it only makes it more intolerable. By not helping ourselves we only double the weight of our concerns and prevent us from seeing how best to overcome them. Strengthening our weaknesses and confidently going forward dissolves worries and entices success out of failure. The wise know themselves, understand the challenge, increase their knowledge and skills, and therefore conquer all—even the unlucky stars.

Be careful and avoid all the various types of one-sided arrogance: vain egocentrism, blind sectarianism and nationalism, habitual and pompous extravagance. These only make you look like a foolish monster blinded by false hopes and an inability to see the actual derision. This psychological defect undermines any kind of openness to development and change.

A good reputation depends more on discretion and not-doing much more than on our actions, words, and successes. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences a multiplicity of failures. The wise hide their mistakes—even from themselves as much as possible—while the foolish focus in, obsess with, and often even brag about them. Not hiding foolish actions and words creates more foolishness than the original mistake. Resist the illusion of comfort in confession, cultivate a healthy forgetfulness, and hide your indiscretions even from your friends.

Only little known people have little known defects. Everyone has shortcomings, faults, and failings—they comprise our individuality. Only the foolish and craven focus on spreading criticism as a way of trying to build themselves up, of diverting attention away from their own misdeeds, or of making themselves feel better about their own flaws. Their libel, slander, and truthfulness form the sewers of slander and corrupt their own reputations while they degrade society. To gossip, spotlight, and catalog defects creates a contaminated life and a personality without heart.

Much better to increase the respect of your position than to rely on your occupation for respect. Only artificial self-worth depends on credentials and that dependence just undermines esteem. Instead of worrying about what people think, use that time to increase your skills, excel in your office, perfect your talents. You then become essential to your co-workers and sought after and appreciated by the wise.

The wise put themselves in the background and end up in front. The more talent we have, the more merit we achieve, the more best to hide. The more difficult the challenge, the more demanding the work, the more we should hide our efforts so that they appear natural and spontaneous. Affectation, pretending to be better than we are, or even bragging about real achievements gives a degraded and artificial flavor to even the most admirable accomplishments. Arrogance repels respect while putting ourselves in the background invites it.

Respect from the wise and even from the foolish arises from a deep, authentic presence, a true communication from a genuine heart. It easily wins over esteem and recognition as it reveals itself in everything we do—in our words, actions, even in the way we walk and move. It cannot be faked with pompous, arrogant talk or pretentious, phony imitation. Only an honest and true expression of a selfless and skillful compassion attains this level of honor.

Appreciate what you do have more than what you wish you had. Live happily as you can rather than unhappily wishing to live in ways you can't. Though your knowledge and understanding may transcend the temporal, cultural whims; the expression of this insight more skillfully waits for a receptive time. Cultural consensus easily overshadows and disregards deeper truths that best lie hidden until their time arrives. Even when the best direction, swimming against a strong current may only make things worse while waiting for more accommodating times can quickly bring success. Genuine goodness brings an exception to this rule however. It never goes out of style, should never be postponed, subverted, or undervalued.

Aversion arises easily enough, no need to encourage it. Without reason, many allow an innate distrust and animosity to distort their first impressions. They revel in dislike and let malevolence and revenge take precedence over their own material and psychological well being—they would rather hurt others than benefit themselves. We find esteem and respect from others when we see something to respect and esteem in them.

Culture grows from the ground of courtesy, manners, and politeness. These qualities win regard and affection, cost little, gain a great deal, and bring honor. Discourtesy and rudeness, however, invite opposition, scorn, and even contempt. Too much politeness and indiscriminate courtesy though degenerates into superficial hypocrisy and can even bloat into injustice. Courtesy toward an enemy displays your integrity and may decrease aggression. Instead of being lost by being given away, gallantry and respect grow.

When we talk about ourselves, we normally either praise or criticize. The former communicates vanity and pride; the latter weak-minded lack of confidence. Both discredit reputations, sabotage projects, and make the people listening uncomfortable. Much better to never talk about ourselves—in personal conversations; and, even more importantly, if in a group or public setting. For similar reasons, also best to not talk about someone part of the group and listening.

The disgraced and dishonorable have little respect for honesty and virtue. With a bad reputation, they have little to lose. Crossed ethical and legal boundaries become much easier to cross again. Much better to avoid the dishonorable as much as possible and to only associate with the trustworthy, with those true to their word. The honorable treat even rivals and adversaries better than the dishonorable treat their "friends."

Frequently, the people circumstances force us to deal with become the ones we would prefer to stay as far away from as possible. A quandary arises between what we need and what we detest. Tolerating unavoidable irritations and failings from those we depend on often determines our success in life. Achievement and success grants the luxury of avoiding these encounters; but, when in a subordinate position, we lack this choice. Best therefore to gradually get used to and learn to tolerate people like this before they trigger in us a reaction that undermines our position.

Better to never compete. Most competition begins with belittling an opponent and looks for support and ammunition everywhere it can—not only where it should. And this abuse easily escalates into a hatred and revenge that seeks out and reveals old failings, damages reputations, and spotlights old scandals. While good manners and courtesy puts up with and excuses mistakes and misconduct, competition invents and exaggerates them. The competitive seldom find success with their strategies of insult, libel, and slander; normally, it only harms their cause and their reputation—while doing little to stop or slow their aggression. People with goodwill live in peace and people with integrity have goodwill.

Don't let prosperity seduce you into complacency. When good luck, progress, and success flourish; don't indulge in frivolous spending, taking people and positions for granted. Instead, acknowledge the possibilities for sudden change, reversals, and unexpected declines. Store your harvests in the summer and fall; don't expect these opportunities in the winter. Fame and fortune magnetize friends and favors best reserved for times of adversity when their support becomes much more expensive or not available at all. The foolish seldom have allies because when in luck, we don't recognized them and when in adversity, they don't recognize us.

The power of goodwill can surpass ability, intelligence and qualities like diligence, courage, honesty, and education. Without it, even the most skilled find a difficult path to success. With goodwill, however, we gain support from many, their respect, and patronage. They don't see our defects because they don't look for them. Many—to their detriment—prioritize merit over grace and, losing goodwill, invite failure instead of accomplishment. Goodwill easily arises from kindness, empathy, and common interest. It requires effort to gain; but, once earned, naturally endures and gains momentum.

Close friends become like one soul in two bodies; your shared values and goals flow through accomplishing much more than you could do alone. Our social value depends on public opinion that depends on the goodwill generated by either the service and friendliness we extend to others or the enmity of enemies. Each day search for a new friendship or at least more relationships that wish us well. In this pursuit, there is no magic like an unexpected good turn, an understanding word in a difficult conversation, an unasked for support.

Leave things before they leave you, break the mirror and find a new one before it starts reflecting failure. Know when your ability stops meeting the task, when the racehorse needs to stop racing, when your actions can no longer match your reputation. Pass on the power, the influence, the knowledge to others who can carry them forward with increasing skills rather than your diminishing ones. Like the sun going behind clouds as it sets leaving only the memory of its brightness, pull another victory out of the claws of entropy, old age, and death.

A common corruption of power brings a critical, condemning approach to every situation and person. Exaggerated accusations and too much focus on the negative pushes everything to extremes, condemns every action, depresses every person, and can turn a paradise into a prison. A noble nature, on the other hand, searches out successes rather than failures, shuns fault and blame, looks for excusing circumstances—mitigating motivations, and praises good intentions even when they fail.